If there’s something wrong with you or if you’re hiding something from me, I can tell. If I’ve been talking to you for awhile now, I’ll know that you’re keeping something from me. Just because I don’t say anything about it, doesn’t mean I don’t notice.
“It’s easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul.”—
Go on ANON and tell me what you think of me. I do not want to know who it is, at all. Don’t tell me who it is, don’t give me hints, don’t say your screen name. Tell me exactly what you think of me. Don’t sugarcoat things. Don’t lie. If you hate me, tell me why. Tell me what I’m doing wrong. If you like me, tell me why. Tell me exactly what you think of me.
2012 has been such an emotional roller coaster. I don’t even know how I managed to survive it. I been happy. Really happy. I been depressed. Really depressed. I have had some of the best moments. I have had some of the worst moments. I have met some great people that i now consider good friends. I have lost friends. I have enjoyed getting to meet new additions to the family. I have cried losing someone who I considered family. I dropped out off school. I enrolled into a new school.
….I was lost (not literally of course) & no I have yet to find myself. It’s OK though! I don’t believe in finding yourself. I believe in creating yourself.
I was closed off to the idea of love. I am now open to idea of love.
So much has happened this year…
The event that made the most impact on me was losing my friend. Her passing away has changed me. My friend was literally in pain every day because of her diabetes & yet she lived by the motto “smile even though it hurts” Out of all the time we had known each other she only broke down once in front of me. Once.
Even though she was in pain she smiled & was always nice to everyone. It was not fake either she was genuinely nice to everyone. She tried to make everyday a good day and stay positive.
Knowing she is gone still makes me cry till this day but now I have an angel I can talk to in heaven.
I made an important promise to her. I promised to stay positive and be happy. I know it won’t be the easiest thing to do but…
It will be hard at times but…
I will keep this promise :)
I have a feeling this will be a though but good year!
A new year is right around the corner. New Year. New adventures….
New year to keep creating myself into a better me ^_^
“Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I’m not anxious, I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be so lonely because it seems catastrophic - seeing the car just as it hits you.”—